glenrockschwartz

Dear Alex, You’re 16 living in quarantine. Well not really sure if I should call it quarantine anymore because you go out and see your friends and disappear for hours at a time. It’s summer break so that’s totally acceptable. But YOU ARE living in quarantine, at least when you compare yourself with your friends. And of course you compare yourself - you are a teenager. THEY can sleep in each other’s houses, you have to leave by midnight. THEY get invited for mini vacations at friends summer houses - you can’t sleep over so you don’t get invited. THEY can take the train to the beach - you are stuck at home, so you might as well do that ACT practice test...so fun. I am so sorry that I’m either not aligned with what makes other families comfortable. I’m not sorry that I don’t give in to the bullying of my teenager as some parents have done. I hope that I am wrong and the worst thing that comes out of this is you missing out on fun times rather than friends who get sick and have l...

Dear Avery Today you turn twelve years old. You have heard the old adage about the tree falling in the woods and nobody around to hear it. Is the corollary, if someone has a birthday during quarantine and nobody around to celebrate that you don’t turn one year older? Of course, I am just jesting, but I am writing this because it does speak to a description of who you are at this age.  Also, I am apologizing in advance that this post is more likely to cover the past two months of your last year.  Somehow in the midst of quarantine it is difficult to remember your life before the 2020 Covid-19 pandemic. You are a worrier. About yourself. About others. About the world.   You may wonder why I am beginning this post with something kind of negative.  I realize that it may seem that way, but I see it differently.  You may "worry" that you will not be celebrated, but in fact it is more about you being keenly aware of your surroundings.  You notice and car...

Dear Alex It is just seven minutes until your birthday as I begin to type this. I have been thinking a lot over the past couple of days about what to write to you, but haven't gotten started and just as I begin to drift off to sleep tonight on the eve of your golden birthday (16 on the 16th!) the thoughts have begun to come together. So here goes: Worldwide Pandemic   The main reason that is has been so hard for me to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) this year is that you will always remember your 16th birthday as the year we lived through the need for social distancing due to Corona Virus. And while all other birthday blog posts have focused on you, this one will consider more of your place in the world given the insane times through which we are living.  So in typical 16 year old fashion, you and your friends believe yourselves to be invincible and rail against the need for distance. But we self quarantine not because we fear for our own lives. Rather,...

I am the grandchild of slaves. I have worked for huge corporate entities that want to do good and make sure we all have attended unconscious bias training. LGBTQ speak up in these trainings about all they encountered.  So do people of color. It is horrible what they have to endure in their regular lives. I do not speak up. People do not want to hear from me. If I speak up, the hate crimes against me will only grow. I am the grandchild of slaves.   Slaves who were freed in the 1940s, 70+ years ago, only two generations ago.  In those two generations we have embraced our freedom. We are educated. We have bachelors degrees, MBAs, doctorates and post-doctorates.  We are prosperous. We drive fancy cars and live in fancy houses. We have no reason to be afraid and no reason to complain.  We have been given nothing and achieved everything. I am the grandchild of slaves. I appreciate my freedom every day.  I worry about my freedom being tak...

Dear Avery, I've been thinking about what to write to you to commemorate your turning eleven and what I realize is that it may have been a year of growing pains, but today on your eleventh birthday you have emerged from a place of stretching and growing to a really balanced and happy place...at least for the time being.  I am sure that as you enter middle school and the true tween to teen years that there will be angst.  But for now, you are sunshine (of course, with the occasional thunderstorm thrown in). So let's discuss that growth and your success (and yes, some failures) that make you a wonderful young lady.  I wrote myself a list of what I wanted to write about: academic success, emotional growth, basketball & lacrosse & goalie, art & dance, Shayna, pink hair & braces & six (!) pairs of glasses. I could almost write nothing more than that list and you would remember exactly what the past year has been, but I believe a few insights and anecdot...

Dear Alex, Fifteen.  Let's just take a minute to let that sink in.  That's like full on whole separate existence about which your parents have no idea kind of teenager.  Maybe that is why I have been procrastinating writing to you this year, because I'm afraid I'll get it wrong and wont capture the real you for when you go back and read this years from now. So to be clear, this is fifteen as reflected through the eyes of your mom. It is not comprehensive. In any case, there are always themes, clear aspects of your being that remain a part of you for as long as I can remember, however in this last year, there are also some surprises. T his kid! This kid who has reached a point in his life where he makes it all look so easy. Who is gracious about his success, even self deprecating.  You have achieved, but refuse any compliment claiming that it’s not a big deal. But it is. And if nowhere else, I will celebrate you here.  You are a kind and empathetic  ...

Hey Alex, I have been co-planning a memorial for Matthew Steinberg.  A boy who you shared a bunk with at camp died tragically in a plane crash with his entire family just over a year ago. You weren't close with him - neither loved nor hated him - not emotionally connected in any way.  And I never even met this boy, although of course I've seen photos of him on the camp website. We are getting the whole bunk of boys together, even those who no longer go to the camp.  Some of the kids are like you Alex, seemingly unaffected, and some of the kids have suffered a great loss of friendship in losing Matthew.  Regardless of strength of relationship, I want to make this memorial meaningful for you and your friends.  Here are the two short speeches I have written and plan to deliver on Sunday. Welcome speech: Today is a day of celebration of Matthew's life.  Not much we say or do today will be sad.  However, all feelings and emotions that you have toda...