Showing posts from 2015

Tough Parenting in 2015

Wow.  I've been angry with my kids lately.  Alex for forgetting his homework assignments which has significantly lowered his grades and Avery for trying to be edgy and get a rise out of friends and family members for disrobing at inappropriate times.

I would like to live in a punishment free home, but then I would be raising little anarchists who are not smart enough to redeem their way into college and/or respect their own bodies.

Parenting stinks sometimes.

Here's to a happier home in 2016.  Happy New Year!

The more things change...

Dear Alex,

Yes, you know what comes next from the title of this post.  It's ....the more they stay the same.

On the scary negative side of that proverb, there's also "Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it", but this is in no way a 'doomed' kind of post.  I just wanted to revisit a post from two years ago:

This is from October, 2013.  Two years ago.  And right now the two of you are at the library on a Sunday morning and then going to get some lunch downtown afterward.

Life is moving too fast.  You are only 11.  You are wanting to play 'grown-up' in this first autumn as middle schooler.  You love the freedom and autonomy that we have gifted to you.  Right now it's just sweet.  I really hope it stays that way.

I love you.

I love your confidence.

I love your spirit.

I love that you are uniquely you, no matter what others around you are doing.



Dear Alex,

I can't wait to take photos of you tonight.  It's your "class night" or what we called elementary school graduation when I was your age and you've already picked out your outfit.

Brooks Brothers flat front khakis, a pink oxford, a navy & gold striped tie and a Ralph Lauren sports jacket.

You may wear Nike Elite shorts and custom KD basketball sneakers on a day-to-day basis, but when you take the time to dress up it is effortless.  You could easily be a J Crew model.  You are a modern day prepster.

Perhaps it's your Connecticut bloodlines, perhaps it's just who you are, but when I see you dressed like this, I can glimpse into your future and know that you will rise above the masses.   You are a special person.


Good times, bad times you know I've had my share

It has been a weird week.  Alex has been misbehaving at school.  He's misunderstood - I'm not really angry with his behavior, more angry that he doesn't yet know how to work the system and be smart enough to know what people need.  In addition, we've been all sorts of busy with activities and work and life.  And I am just so exhausted by it all.  As sad and tired as I've been feeling, when I stop to reflect I think:

If I didn't have these down times in my life, how would I ever appreciate the good?  And there is A LOT of good in this life, I know it.  I am beyond fortunate.And even these down times can't nearly compare to the hardship and sickness that friends and relatives have endured.  Again, beyond fortunate.And even in the bad times, my life is filled with great love.

So I can let the exhaustion wash over me.  It's good to appreciate what I have. It's good to be tired and have to stop all the running.

Happy to be a work in progress, a tribute to my mother.

Today is mother's day.  I called my mom this morning to wish her well and in the midst of our conversation, I realized that all that I love about myself as a mother I patterned after what I learned from my own mom.  All that I am not as pleased about, all my crazy, that's all me (and all my mom's crazy, that's all her).

Today is mother's day.  I have done three loads of laundry, shopped at two supermarkets, cleaned up from my breakfast in bed and from the spice rub for this afternoon's barbecue that left a mess on the counter.  This is the unsung work of mothers.  We who work full time, but also manage to schedule play dates and orthodontist appointments and to get the camp medical forms in on time.  We who regularly make sure our children are clean and fed and smiling.  And while unsung may sound like under-appreciated and it certainly feels like that in the worst of moments, it's not really that way.  The thank yous may not occur after each and every act, …

My beautiful, confident, happy and smiling seven year old - I must be doing something right!

Dear Avery,

Today you are seven years old and what is really unbelievable to me is that sometimes you act just like you are seventeen years and other times it's more like you are seven months.  Then again, I am not exactly sure what seven is supposed to be.  But in any case, I am glad that you both have the desire to grow up and can still act like my tiny, snuggly baby girl sometimes.

Last year when you turned six, I wrote about your determination to play with your friends, your intense joie de vivre.  That intensity remains core to who you are, it will be something that makes you stand out wherever you go in life.

This year I wanted to spend some time writing about the minutia of that intensity; how it manifests to be what I already know makes you truly amazing.  But let me preface those thoughts with this - I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes a person successful and how it isn't defined by academic success (or later in life, financial success), but rather with …

The twin towers or Alex turns 11

Dear Alex,

Today you are eleven years old.  Today I am eleven years a mother.  Today we are eleven years a family.  I don't know if I've ever thanked you for it, but I should because being a mother is the thing that I love most.  It's the best thing I've ever gotten to do.

A rough hewn block of stone
But enough about me, this is supposed to be about you.  About the person that you continue to become.  The famous sculptor, Michelangelo (of David statue fame) said "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it."  I think about this a lot when I think of who you are becoming, because every part of who you will be is already inside of you.  With each pass of the sculptor's tools what I already know about you becomes just a bit more defined.

Empathy and kindness
Ever since you have been little you have questioned me "What's my talent?"  You want to know the physical things like are you an academic or an …