Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Going "off-grid"

Hey kids,
I'm freakin' out because I just saw a news story about the level of radiation that ipads emit.  I know how much you two like to play with them and hold them in your laps and I am wondering how I can prevent anything bad from happening to your still tiny developing bodies.
I would do just about anything to protect you and keep you healthy.  You may hate me now because of limitations on how long you are able to play with the Easy Bake Oven and JetPack apps, but in the long run when you remain healthy and are easily able to have babies of your own, I think you might change your minds.
Figuring out how to live in an ever changing world is certainly tough.

Friday, March 16, 2012

416 weeks old!

Dear Alex,

Today you turn eight and I just cannot believe it!  I truly remember when I measured your age in weeks and even days, that's how new to the world you were.  And now you are eight and completely your own person.  

I love that you have secrets with friends and you call them up on the phone! by yourself! and ask if they want to "hang out" - no more play-dates, I know.  

I love that while you are growing up, there are still some remnants of little boy in you and for that I am thankful as I am not ready to cede you to the world.  I love that you will still hold my hand when we take walks and give me hugs and kisses (as long as your friends are not around) and hop into bed with me in the morning to just be lazy.

I love that you are becoming such a great reader and that you enjoy both works of fiction and non-fiction.  I love even more that you still let me read to you every night before bed and that you beg for just one more chapter, even though the books we read now have impossibly long chapters.

I love that you have retained your emotional intelligence and sensitivity and that you truly care to make sure people, especially your own mom are feeling happy and content.

I do not love your colossal affection for WWE wrestling.  I do love, however, that this is something you share with your Dad.

I love your giant hippopotamus front teeth.  I think I will be a little sad when they no longer dominate your mouth.

I love that nearly every pair of pants you own are both too short on you and have a giant hole in the knee and that even when you are wearing pants that do not have holes you still come home with dirty knees.  How do you do that!?!?

I love that you are unbelievably tall and lanky.  I love even more that the way you look reminds Grandma so much of Uncle David when he was your age.  You are the third generation of "Monkey Boys"!

I love watching you figure out your place in the world and I truly look forward to each and every birthday that I get to spend with you.

You are just fantastic.  Happy birthday!


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Sledgehammer of sadness, making way for new beginnings

Dearest children,

The sickness that I wrote about in the last post seemed to be only the beginning of other scary, sad and then heart wrenching moments to come in the near future.  I was in a car accident in which I was uninjured (thank goodness), but it was bad enough to shake my confidence.  Then in the worst of all parents' nightmares our friends, Mike and Suzanne have suddenly and tragically lost the live of their son Gavin.  Daddy and I went to the funeral today - I cannot possibly type anything here that would do justice to the emotional low that everyone in that room was feeling.

It's kind of strange right now being surrounded by so much grief that I find has brought on an enormous sense of contemplation.  It's strange because in the middle of all of it, I am still able to be happy, even joyful in the moment with you.  This magnificent spring weather has settled in, which has meant evening walks, playing outside, rosy cheeks and dirty, scraped up knees.  Today, as we returned from the funeral, we arrived just in time to pick up Alex from school and watch him play on the school playground with his friends.  Yes,  Alex, you played with your friends and did not hang around us, but for a moment when Mrs. DiLisio was releasing her charges to parents and grandparents and babysitters and you saw Daddy and I waiting for you, the smile on your face was just priceless.  I would give anything to bottle that expression of love and happiness so that I might carry it with me always, particularly in times of sorrow.

You kids are particularly wonderful and I wont ever forget it.

I fiercely love you,