Posts

Happy Re-Birthday

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  Dear Alex, I was awakened at 5am today, a little bit by the snoring going on right next to me but also because my mind was swirling with what I wanted to convey to you today on your 20th birthday.  You are 20, but today you are also three months old. And that is because three months ago today we got into your car in Boulder and began the journey back to Glen Rock, back to the place where you would do the really hard work of becoming a stronger and more content human being. You did this among the naysayers thinking that taking a break from a linear path in life was for the weak, who believed that using your anxiety to drive you forward was the path to success, when you have realized that it is quite the opposite.  So on your three month birthday, here’s what I want you to know about yourself: 1. You are incredibly strong. Thank you for speaking up for yourself and for doing the hard work 2. You are infinitely interesting. When you speak, people are drawn to you and want to hear what y

525,600 minutes...How do you measure....

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Dear Avery, You read the title of this post and I bet you are singing it in your head now :) Happy 15th birthday! I have spent probably longer writing this post because I'm finding it so difficult to encapsulate the past year that has been filled with so much change for you.   Friends and Friend Groups and Parties I find myself first wanting to start with friendship.  You live your life in technicolor (i.e. you are emotional) so this is the area where you have always and continue to experience the most highs and lows.  I saw this TikTok clip today in which a professor was talking about how he is changing his way of teaching from his generally more laid back style to more structured as a direct result of his students having spent the majority of their high school years in quarantine and thus lacking skills to achieve in an unstructured environment.  It had me thinking about how quarantine will impact you long term (NB: can you believe that we are STILL talking about Covid?!?).  For

Unbearably fragile and yet absolutely unbreakable

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Dear Avery, I want to get these words just right.  With you I always want everything to be perfect or at least as perfect as possible, because the details, the time and care and attention paid really matter to you.  You appreciate it.  As I write this on the eve of your fourteenth birthday, I am struck by how you have managed to be fluid in an ever changing world. Some of this is World with a capital W - like we are living in pandemic times and public health policies change, impacting us on the daily.  And then there is world - your everyday world here in Glen Rock or off at camp - and the people that you encounter.  Today I'm going to focus on your world and not make this an account of vaccines and masks and quarantine. Girl....You'll be a woman soon Cringe! Of course, don't go off and make me a grandmother anytime soon, but just sharing that your body is doing everything that it's supposed to do at this age.  You also delight in the fact that you are (very slightly) t

When your child turns eighteen, are you even a mommy blogger anymore?

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Dear Alex, You read the title of this blog post right, you are officially eighteen.  An adult.  Although Grandma once told me the secret that one never really feels like an adult, not until they have grandchildren. In the moment as I write this, I find myself annoyed with you, a fairly common occurrence these days.  I do think that eighteen is the magic number when kids are supposed to separate from their parents and as parents we are ready to let go of you, at least with regards to the day-to-day things for which you cause great annoyance.  I don't know if you are actively trying to annoy me or if I'm differently experiencing the things you have always done.  Nonetheless, grrrr.... And then there are those blindingly bright moments.  The ones where you are a human and an adult and utterly interesting and engaging and so wonderful to hang out with you.  More of those times, please! The good news is that at eighteen years old, you have grown, you do not need me to control your w

A focus on what matters

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Dear Alex, In just one short month, you will officially be an adult in the eyes of our country.  Old enough to vote, old enough to go to war (but not old enough to drink!) As Jewish parents in modern times, we laugh a bit at the thought of bar mitzvah being the age in which you are considered an adult by the Jewish community.  We can all agree that you are still a child at 13!  But can we also agree as Americans, that turning 18 doesn't automatically make you ready to take on the world without parent involvement? Do you know how to drive and/or navigate public transportation? Check.  How to get dressed, tie your shoes, make a grilled cheese and do your laundry? Check.  All the stuff on this list?  https://grownandflown.com/33-life-skills-college-kids-adult/ Okay, maybe we need to have a conversation about some of these. But does that mean that we can just send them out in the world and no longer worry? To this I would say, absolutely not!  18 year olds are still children.  They st

Grandpa Irwin - A tribute

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Dear Alex and Avery, It is with a heavy heart that I write to you today.  Your Saba passed away in the early hours of the morning on Monday. Below are a series of hopefully not too disjointed thoughts that I want to share with you. I like the word erudite - and not just because it was made popular as one of the four factions in the Divergent book series.  No, I like the word erudite, because it rolls around in my head and off my tongue as the perfect word, the perfect embodiment of my grandfather.  An intelligence that cannot be bought with education, a sense of class that is lauded in movies that make fun of "new money".  Some people might associate erudite with snobbiness and being judgmental; to that I say, oh yes! And as the third in the line (hi mom!) of absolute judgy snobs, I say this with glee and pride. My grandfather is better and he knows more.  Proof positive is this renaissance man who has a clearly thought through view on world politics, who is a self taught eng

An excel sheet of pros and cons

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Dear kids Rosh Hashanah starts at sundown this evening and as it is meant to be a time of spiritual renewal, here I am reflecting on my world.  There are phrases like “a world forever changed” that are used after catastrophic events like the assassination of JFK (well before my time) or September 11 attacks (in my prime time as a newly married young adult). And it’s true, we can all talk with extreme clarity about exactly what happened in those moments. Our current world forever changed, the one we are living through, is different. Rather than a point in time and the aftermath, it’s a slow burning, multi year long, new way of life that has changed forever how we act, how we think, how we feel.  (Complete parenthetical side note before I return to gloom and doom. Worlds are forever changed with happy events as well. That moment I said to your dad “Ani l’dodi v’dodi li”, or when I first found out that I was going to be a mama, and sublimely (there may have been some drugs involved), when