Showing posts from 2018


Hey kids,

For posterity, I wanted to mark this time in our lives as the time when I was unemployed.  Today is the end of week two.

We adopted a puppy when we got back from the beach (Shayna!) and having that sweet girl home with me while I figure out my next move has been a true sanity saver.

This is the quote that I wrote for all of us today:  I am ordinary, but only because I choose to keep my extraordinary hidden; sometimes it's just easier to fit in and not have to meet an expectation that does not feel achievable.

Thanks for letting me be more involved in normal in your lives right now and for dealing with my mood swings while I work on me.

Love you both,

Sweet Sixteen!

Dear Avery,

Two weeks ago you turned ten.  Each set of grandparents bought you a pair of really cool sneakers for your birthday.  Yesterday I bought you ANOTHER pair of sneakers.  These ones are rose gold glitter.  That brings your shoe collection for your STILL growing feet up to sixteen pairs.  Sixteen!  They are mainly sneakers - running sneakers, lacrosse cleats, basketball sneakers, platform rainbow glittery white, hand decorated converse all stars, as well as aforementioned rose gold glitter.

Shoes make you happy.


A better world - Avery turns Double Digits!

Dear Avery,

Today you are ten years old!  However you have been telling everyone for awhile that you are ten, so I wonder today if you will start telling people that you are eleven.

All in
The theme of the past year for you is definitely friendship and both learning how to be a good friend as well as who is a good friend to you.  This should be easy, but at 44, I still mess up some days or have my feelings hurt other days.  You are a fiercely passionate individual.  To use a poker analogy, you never just call, you are either raising or all in.  Meaning that in your friendships, a girl goes from being just someone in your class that you know to being your BEST friend who you would like to exclusively hang out with all day every day.  Then one day, you decide that girl is OUT.  And you move on to the next person.  

So a couple of things to say about this: firstly, I say you are just like dad, but this all in until you are out behavior is kind of my life (more with boyfriends, caree…

In my image, in the image of my love

Dear Avery,

Recently you asked me if I have a favorite kid.  I honestly thought about it instead of giving you the standard parent answer of loving you both with all my heart (which I do!).  What I said to you after having thought about it for a while is that I love Alex because he is so much like me.  It is easy for me to proud or sad of things that he says, does, thinks, because I absolutely get his motivation.  But you sweet Avery, I love you because you are just like your daddy and he is the person that I love so much that I chose and continue to choose to spend my entire life with him every single day.  So maybe not the answer that you were looking for, but I love you both, with all my heart, just in different ways.


Baby Alex, all five foot ten and a half inches of him!

Dear Alex,

Soooo big!
I find myself saying "Baby Alex" out loud and in my head a lot more often lately.  I think it is because I am in mourning that there is no bit of baby left as you turn 14.  14!  Your voice is deeper than all other men in our family including your dad and your grandfathers.  Of course, there is an occasional crack in your voice now & then, but it is happening less and less.  Your feet are gigantic (12.5 right now) and you are growing inches (currently 5'10"+) with too short pants all the time.

Trust the process
I am writing down the following story, because it concerns you and I want you to remember it and make it a model for your life.  Every year starting in fourth grade, you have tried out for the Glen Rock town travel basketball team.  You did not make the team in fourth grade, fifth grade, sixth grade or seventh grade.  Four years in a row of being cut, but you still developed your skills, played on other pay-to-play teams over the years an…

Youer than you

Dear Alex

You are 13, almost 14. This evening you almost broke things in your room and were having a teenager tantrum while doing homework. When I came up to investigate, you were nearly in tears because you couldn’t get a background track to exactly line up with the vocals that you had recorded for a science rap.

I pointed out to you that most human beings would neither notice nor care, given that the grade one would be given would be based on an understanding of the science material.

I also pointed out that when it came to homework that you were perhaps the furthest thing from a perfectionist.

The fact of the matter is that you cannot fight who you are. You are a musician.

#alexisarockstar #perfectrhythmperfectpitch

As I continue to live through the frustrating times of your organizational growth, I am happy to have something positive to write.


The Happiness Experiment

Dear Avery,

Growing up is hard.  I think particularly for a girl in our Western society that it is even more difficult.  Girls are mean to each other.  Emotions run strong.  And even at the young age of nine (almost ten!), you are exposed to nastiness in person, via social media, across all avenues. 

I want to do everything I can to shield you from this to make sure that you can grow up as easily and stress free as possible.  This morning I decided to document the days that you feel happy and the days that you feel sad to show you that there are definitely more happy days than sad days.  Every morning before school, we will take a photo and talk about how you are feeling that day given what has transpired in your life over the previous 24 hours.

I look forward to sharing your happy and counseling you through your sad.

I love you with all my heart.


PS - Day 1 = happy (also, I'm choosing to go blonde right now)

The busy season

Dear Kids,

I know I should love basketball.  Because you and your dad, you all love basketball.  And I do love watching you play, I do!  But I have to say that March cannot come quickly enough.  With two rec teams and two travel teams and your dad coaching three out of four teams and sometimes between the two of you there will be seven games to be play across the span of 48 hours.  And that is too much.

I find it all overwhelming.  I cannot deal with much else like scheduling kid or adult play dates or remembering to be a good friend or mom.

Know that I will always support you in whatever it is you choose to do.  And I will revel in this feeling of being overwhelmed knowing that all too soon I will have to fill my life with my own stuff once you go to camp this summer and (gulp!) once you leave for college.

Love you lots,

PS just for posterity because I have not written it down anywhere else, this is the year that you BOTH made Glen Rock Travel Basketball teams and I couldn't be mor…