The Alex I know - fifteen through the eyes of a mom

Dear Alex,

Fifteen.  Let's just take a minute to let that sink in.  That's like full on whole separate existence about which your parents have no idea kind of teenager.  Maybe that is why I have been procrastinating writing to you this year, because I'm afraid I'll get it wrong and wont capture the real you for when you go back and read this years from now.

So to be clear, this is fifteen as reflected through the eyes of your mom. It is not comprehensive.

In any case, there are always themes, clear aspects of your being that remain a part of you for as long as I can remember, however in this last year, there are also some surprises. This kid! This kid who has reached a point in his life where he makes it all look so easy. Who is gracious about his success, even self deprecating. You have achieved, but refuse any compliment claiming that it’s not a big deal. But it is. And if nowhere else, I will celebrate you here. 

You are a kind and empathetic human being.  And a dog lover! Well at least you love our sweet Shayna girl.  Having that dog join our family has let me watch you be a caretaker.  It is very sweet and reassuring.  Kindness was never something I have worried about with you.  You have a strong ethical core.  You are a good friend.  In fact, you demand depth of friendship to the point that I can see that you need to work on your cocktail party talk.  It will serve you well in life if you learn to expand your group and be a little surface with people every now and then.  Because right now, as kind as you are, you are also a little intolerant of people (gee, I wonder where you get that from) and will only let them in to your circle if you think they are worthy.




You are are a musician.  One who doesn't create or play music at the moment.  Which you can tell from my tone of writing, really annoys me.  In the last year, however, there have been some bright moments. You and a band (which you kids called Red Night - opposite of Green Day) performed at the eighth grade talent show and brought. the. house. down.  No joke.  It was seriously a rock star moment for you guys.  You also had a few days between the end of basketball season and the start of weightlifting and you were bored.  And you picked up your guitar.  And taught yourself a bunch of songs.  It made me happy to listen to you play.

Eighth Grade Talent Show

You are an athlete. You played rec soccer for the first time in years and liked it so much that you plan on trying out next year for JV soccer goalie.  This is a total surprise.  Then you played freshman basketball and were often the first one off the bench.  You have grown tremendously (both in height and skill) this season as a basketball player and made the spring AAU Elite team. 




You are an academic.  For so many years we have said seek progress, not perfection as it pertained to academics.  It was never a lack of intelligence, but rather a frustrating lack of organization and interest.  It was crippling.  It caused never ending stress, anger and yelling in our household.  It was the thing that I gingerly wrote about each year in these birthday posts, plaintively hoping that one day we would figure it out.  We worked together as a family to find a solution that worked for you.  And once we did, (thank you magic little pill!) all the success and hard work, that is ALL YOU.  You are a high honor roll, straight A student.  You talk openly about ADD. You force the conversation and remove the stigma. You are a success story.




You are a good big brother.  You are a good son, nephew, cousin, grandson and great-grandson.  You have a very deep voice.  You are nearly 6'2" and weigh just over 140 pounds.  You are tall, but have a baby face and don't need to shave yet.  




You have a really well developed sense of humor and can sometimes laugh uncontrollably.  You sometimes forget to be nice to your mom (me!) and dad has to remind you. You have a near obsession with Premiere League English Soccer (COYS!).  I feel really lucky just to know you, let alone call you my family.




In continuing to seek progress, you have achieved perfection in some areas.  In the next year, I would like to see you work on your tolerance of those who you do not see as worthy.  To be friends with a larger group of kids even if they aren't your best friends.

But even if you don't change a thing, I will still be just utterly impressed with the great person you continue to be.

All of my love and wishing you the happiest of birthdays,
mom

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