glenrockschwartz

Dear Avery, Last night you lost (read: ripped out) your second tooth ever. You were understandably excited-the novelty has not yet worn off. You went to sleep excited for a visit from the tooth fairy. As uber prepared as I was, when Alex was going upstairs to sleep, I asked him if I could borrow some cash. He gave me a  $10 (in exchange for two $20s - that kid is definitely going to be successful when he grows up) and went to sleep himself. Now it's time for me to go upstairs. I quickly cut a note into a cute heart shape, write some sweet words and slip the note and money under your pillow in place of the envelope containing your tooth.  Back in the light of the hallway, I see this: It's 10:45 on Monday night and you want a toy, not money. Kill me. So I scrounge around and find a leftover gift from Five Below that never quite made it to you on Hanukkah. It's a Heli-ball, kind of like a mini drone and I know you won't be very excited to receive it. But it's a ...

Dear Alex, Today you turn twelve.  I know it seems cliche to write that I remember being twelve myself, but I really do.  I remember how sixth grade and middle school is a really big deal.  Something about getting yourself between classes and packing your backpack and even walking out of school and deciding if you are going to go home or somewhere else.  It is a step change in the amount of independence you have. I think, no, I know that you love this independence.  This perhaps most defines your twelve year old personality.  And I'm trying, I really am, to let you be this mini-adult.  Give my kid his freedom.  This is the "foot" you have in the soon to be a teenager, growing up too fast world.  I let you choose and spend time with your friends, go where you want to go.  The good news is that for the most part, you just go to each other's homes, spending time playing computer and video games.   But there is also this intense n...

Dear kids, It rained today.  It POURED.  I went out to run some errands and got completely soaked - just to let you know HOW hard it was raining today.  You may have heard metaphors of rain as an agent of cleanse.  If you haven't, trust me, it's a thing. In any case, I just wanted to let you know that I worked from home today because you two have a winter break day off from school.  And I felt a sense of calm, a sense that we are cleansed as a family.  We may get angry with each other, feel tired or sad or even overwhelmed at times. As individuals, as a family, we always get past these tough times.  We return to golden times.  We are cleansed. Love you with all my heart, Mom

Dear Avery, Each night when we send you upstairs to take a shower, you do so grudgingly and then immediately after when you are wrapped in a towel you call out in your happy sing-song, clarion voice, "I'm done with my shower!" (I can hear the melodic nature of that sentence as I type it). You then put on cozy pajamas and come back downstairs for me to brush your hair, for you to beg for another chapter in a book, a few minutes of TV, a chat and any other procrastination tactics you dream up. Last night, I was on the phone with a friend when you called out and I imitated your sweet voice to  my friend so that she would know a bit about our evening ritual.  To this imitation you called out, "I hear you mocking me!"  Wow!  Somehow that just seemed so direct, so grown up and all without any anger or spite or hurt. You are one cool little (and big!) girl. I love you, Mama

Dear Alex, We had an interesting conversation this morning about learning and teaching.  You told me that one of your least preferred teachers teaches like "cogs in a machine" (you asked if that had anything to do with the word cognitive).  In any case, what you meant when we discussed was that her teaching is so routinized (not cognitive!), that what you should be doing or learning is not top of mind, it becomes invisible. She probably teaches this way with the same type of assignments due on the same days of the week so that she can free up young learners to focus on the content.  But of course as I realize more and more each day, people have different learning styles.  And this type of teaching style feels so much like process that you use all your brain power on making sure all the cogs are in place rather than stretching your thinking. I'm sorry that your learning style does not mesh with her teaching style.  It makes for a difficult year. Love you,...

Dear Avery, Yay!  That's all I can type.  Yesterday we had an exciting and momentous day.  A long awaited day.  A day that we all rejoiced and waited for even more magic You told me that you pretended to be asleep and that you saw the tooth fairy leave you a little gift. Love, Mama

Dear Alex, This week you came home from school and had this conversation with me: "I broke up with Adele today." Of course I questioned you about whether you hurt her feelings, was it a mutual break up, were you both okay.  The good news is that you promised me that you broke up with each other and that the main reason was because kids were teasing you at school so you guys just decided to remove the topic of teasing. Then I asked you, "Are you still going to be friends?" "Yes. "Are you still going to talk and text with each other?" "Yes." "Will you still hang out sometimes outside of school?" "Yes." "So basically, nothing has changed." "No.  We broke up.  We're no longer dating.  It's totally different." It's funny how much terminology matters to an eleven year old.  Don't grow up too quickly Alex.  Be friends with anyone and everyone.  Swing from the monkey bar...