Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Thankful for beginning phonics

Hi Avery,


I swear that sometimes you are sunny and lovely and loving, but that is just not as much fun to write about when at this age of four you are also often completely normal in being unbalanced and angry and crazy.  So I am sorry for these posts all in a string in this part of the blog, but my darling, each and every story I relate here is completely true.


So yes, it's true, sometimes you do have bouts of intense anger that bubbles up and is kind of like the book "When Sophie Gets Angry".  We do our best to parent you through these moments, staying as calm and neutral and anger free as possible.  


While I've already forgotten what this past weekend's tantrum was about, I do remember that you were  having trouble managing your emotions and this time the victim of your acrimony was your poor dad.  With teeth clenched you said, no actually you shrieked, "I'm going to say the C -word because I'm so angry!" at which point your dad and I looked at each other with worried looks and I thought that I might really have to get soap to wash out your mouth. 


And then you did it.  You uttered the C-word, "I feel like I want to (cuh, cuh, cuh) CILL you!"  In case you are not reading this till much later, what you meant was KILL.  The mingling emotions and thoughts that entered my body and mind after this utterance:
1.  Thank goodness for your innocence and that the word kill is one that you think is a really bad word (you think the same of the word 'stupid' right now)
2.  How could you possibly think such horrible thoughts about your daddy who loves you so much and treats you truly like a princess.  I am not nearly as accommodating and I don't believe you would ever treat me that way, and
3. I'm kind of a little bit proud to watch you sound out and spell words at such a young age - you rock at beginning phonics!


Love,
Mommy