Square root of 289 years old
Dear Alex,
Yup. You read the title of this post right, you are 17 years old! As always, I write you a letter to share your accomplishments, stressors and life in general over the past year. This letter, however will be remarkably different because this past year (starting exactly the day you turned 16) is the year that you lived in quarantine due to the Corona virus causing a worldwide pandemic.
Beyond just a lining - More like solid silver
Okay, so I know it's absolutely horrible that so many people have died, been very sick, lost their jobs, gone hungry, but for me quarantine has provided a precious year with you during which otherwise we would all have been off in different directions. I have watched movies and Jeopardy and played logic board games and eaten three meals a day every day with you. I have listened to you sing in the shower and watched you play games on your phone when your camera was off during home school. I have seen you develop deep friendships with people, all over FaceTime. You have disagreed with some of my Corona rules, but have respected them without yelling or getting angry. You have worked hard, when all any of us really wants to do is hang out in our pajamas and do nothing. Quarantine has been an absolutely wonderful and unforgettable year for our family.
At 17, there are not too many new facets of what makes you uniquely you. Just new manifestations and examples of your perseverance, your kindness, your musicality, your intelligence, your humor, and yes your stubbornness. So here goes in highlighting what that has looked like over the past year.
Try, try again
Online school for the second half of your sophomore, and every other day of your junior year has not been easy for you. You are a person who thrives with in person instruction. It was a shock to you to have to learn in a new way and at first there was definitely a dip in your ability to focus as well as your grades. But you regrouped and figured it out and are now back on a path to academic success. Same holds true in your study for college entrance exams (fingers crossed that your April exam will be the last one you take).
This year you played varsity basketball. You were not first, or second, or even third off the bench. But you practiced and you played and you didn't complain when you had minimal play time. And when you did play, you contributed to your team winning. This kind of perseverance is truly admirable.
Humor of all kinds
By now, I hope that you recognize you are bright with a sometimes erudite and sometimes base sense of humor. If you cannot see it in yourself, I suggest you look around at your group of friends. Quarantine has necessitated for groups of friends to shrink into safer, smaller pods. I truly like each one of your friends. They are all smart, like you. They are all funny, like you. They are all really good young men and women.
As a little PS to the people whom you choose as friends, you also have developed nice friendships with some of your basketball teammates. It's kind of nice to see this group of guys outside your core group. Mainly because it speaks to your becoming more tolerant of people who are not exactly like you.
Speaking of friends
You have also spent much more time with Avery over the past year. I have often worried that with four years age difference and opposite genders that the two of you would not have a deep relationship. Perhaps as a united front against me, you have proved me wrong. :P One story from this year that I absolutely love goes like this. It's a Tuesday or Wednesday evening and I look across the dinner table at you and think you have a horrible disease because your neck is all bruised. You admit sheepishly that over the weekend (3-4 days earlier), that a girl gave you hickeys and that Avery has been doing your makeup for the past few days to cover them up. What I love about this is that the two of you shared a secret. It suggests a depth of relationship that I didn't know existed. And it makes me deliriously happy.
Producer > Performer
I mentioned that I get to listen to you singing (extremely eclectic) music in the shower. Brings a smile to my face whether it's the Smiths or some crazy unknown British rapper. I had wondered if you would ever return to music. With regards to performance - other than the shower - you haven't. But what has been amazing over the past year is your new found love of music production. Your took an elective at GRHS, but have gone far beyond what has been taught and have developed a real creative competency. I love getting to hear what you create. It's like Bruno from Fame wanting to play the electric keyboard instead of the piano.
Akadoo!
You spoke your first words at ten months. At a year, you were speaking in simple sentences. One of them, which took a while to decipher, was 'akadoo', which means both "Look what I can do!" and also "I can do it, myself!"
From early on you really have preferred for any achievement (or failure) to be your own. You also despise having to ask for help, due to this need. This can mean that you sometimes fall into a hole (a potential bad grade in physics, until we forced a tutor on you, an ACT tutor that wasn't working for you) and not until we notice you are deep in that hole can we do anything to pull you out.
On the positive side, this looks like you getting a job as a camp counselor at Spring Lake for this summer, keeping on top of all of the MANY appointments that come with junior year with guidance counselors, college advisors, tutors, coaches and more. You take all that comes your way with relative calm and ease. You make it very easy to be your parent. Read the subtext kid - yes we are proud of you, but more importantly you can be proud of yourself.
I don't know where this part goes, so I'll put it at the end
This is the year that you are looking at and preparing to apply to colleges and universities. You have your top three, which are great schools, but are safety schools for you. You are begrudgingly adding target and reach schools. I hope that you attend the right school for you. The one that makes you feel happy and confident. The one where you will make connections and life long friends. The one that will start you off on the righteous path to a fulfilling career. I will let you in on a little secret, any school you go to will be the right school as long as you are in the right frame of mind.
Happy 17th birthday to the person who made me a mom! Have fun and be safe aimlessly driving around. Enjoy the freedom it brings you. Work hard at the things you love to do and for everything else, take my motto of Impact over effort and make it your own.
I love you and I love spending time with you.
Love,
Mom
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