Venting Safely

Hiked all the way to the top of the mountain and got pushed off before I could enjoy the view.  

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The Alex I know - fifteen through the eyes of a mom

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Dear Alex,

Fifteen.  Let's just take a minute to let that sink in.  That's like full on whole separate existence about which your parents have no idea kind of teenager.  Maybe that is why I have been procrastinating writing to you this year, because I'm afraid I'll get it wrong and wont capture the real you for when you go back and read this years from now.

So to be clear, this is fifteen as reflected through the eyes of your mom. It is not comprehensive.

In any case, there are always themes, clear aspects of your being that remain a part of you for as long as I can remember, however in this last year, there are also some surprises. This kid! This kid who has reached a point in his life where he makes it all look so easy. Who is gracious about his success, even self deprecating. You have achieved, but refuse any compliment claiming that it’s not a big deal. But it is. And if nowhere else, I will celebrate you here. 

You are a kind and empathetic human being.  And a dog lov…
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Sunshine and thunderstorms: Avery turns eleven!

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Dear Avery,

I've been thinking about what to write to you to commemorate your turning eleven and what I realize is that it may have been a year of growing pains, but today on your eleventh birthday you have emerged from a place of stretching and growing to a really balanced and happy place...at least for the time being.  I am sure that as you enter middle school and the true tween to teen years that there will be angst.  But for now, you are sunshine (of course, with the occasional thunderstorm thrown in).

So let's discuss that growth and your success (and yes, some failures) that make you a wonderful young lady.  I wrote myself a list of what I wanted to write about: academic success, emotional growth, basketball & lacrosse & goalie, art & dance, Shayna, pink hair & braces & six (!) pairs of glasses. I could almost write nothing more than that list and you would remember exactly what the past year has been, but I believe a few insights and anecdotes are in o…
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Celebrating life

Hey Alex,

I have been co-planning a memorial for Matthew Steinberg.  A boy who you shared a bunk with at camp died tragically in a plane crash with his entire family just over a year ago.

You weren't close with him - neither loved nor hated him - not emotionally connected in any way.  And I never even met this boy, although of course I've seen photos of him on the camp website.

We are getting the whole bunk of boys together, even those who no longer go to the camp.  Some of the kids are like you Alex, seemingly unaffected, and some of the kids have suffered a great loss of friendship in losing Matthew.  Regardless of strength of relationship, I want to make this memorial meaningful for you and your friends.  Here are the two short speeches I have written and plan to deliver on Sunday.

Welcome speech:
Today is a day of celebration of Matthew's life.  Not much we say or do today will be sad.  However, all feelings and emotions that you have today are totally valid, from your feel…
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