Parental Anxiety - the "before" emotions

Dear Avery,

Tomorrow you are having your adenoids removed.  We have spent the entire three-and-a-half years that is your life constantly wiping your nose and listening to you snore and the past six or so weeks squirting Nasonex and saline up your nose every evening to shrink your adenoids (it didn't work, which is why we are on the eve of your surgery).  You loved and seem to sincerely miss the Nasonex/saline combination because it meant getting to eat two jellybeans everyday.

And you seem to be responding to the idea of this surgery in the same way you did the nasal sprays - "You mean I can eat ANYTHING I want!?!!?  Juice? Candy? Ice-pops and ice-cream?  So when is this thing happening when I can eat anything I want?"

Your dad and I have had a bit of a different reaction both because we are older and understand more what is about to happen and because you are our child and we love you more than you may think is even humanly possible.  I worry most about the anesthesia.  It is never good.  Weird things can happen.  It makes me nervous.  Daddy is worried about the pain you will feel after you wake up.  We are both worried about the unknown.  We both wish we could fast forward a few weeks from now, but we cannot.  So in the meantime, we are not sleeping particularly well, we are being a bit over-indulgent with you and we are taking lots of deep breaths and trying not to make too big of a deal about this.

When you read this when you are older, I do hope that you will be able to share your more adult perspective remembering back of what it was like to be a child in this situation.

I love you very much,


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