Words are powerful


 Dear Avery,

I know I will let this go without saying anything to you in the moment (with a definite fight if I do say something), but I wanted to let you know for later in life how tiny choices of words matter. 

The story goes that I was somehow supposed to know that I had yet another task as the mother of a culturally Jewish Tri state teenage daughter. If you told me about your disappointment last summer and expected me to remember this summer without reminding me, well that didn’t happen. 

I felt badly and let you know via text. You responded kind of letting me off the hook and letting me know that you love me (ily too!!), but also telling me that I have failed you and that you have to do everything yourself. You texted “I figured it out by myself”. Had you ended the sentence before “by myself” it wouldn’t have felt like a knife in my heart. But instead that one phrase written and I shut down (much to your dad’s confusion), had a bad night, didn’t sleep. I 

This morning I read the text exchange again, felt exhausted by the fact that no matter how much I do, it never seems to be enough, never done well, always a disappointment. You are so important to me; I never want to fail you. And I will never stop trying my best. But when you do read this, remember that your opinion matters tremendously and the words you choose to say or not to say - coming from you mean so much, mean everything. It is because you are so smart and an empath. This is not a back handed compliment. Instead it’s a reminder to be careful with your natural power and magnetism.

I love you

Mom


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