Dancin' Queen
Dear Avery,
Seventeen years old! What in the world can I write to you that you do not already know about yourself?!? It is kind of amazing how once your personality shone through that I could pretty much copy and paste from recent years' birthday posts and it would probably hold true today. But I want to dig deep over the past year and hold a mirror up to you so that you can see what I see; the evolution to an even more incredible version of yourself. Because one thing I know, is that over the past year you have lived life on your terms. Has there been fighting? Yes. Crying? That too. More good days, than bad? Absolutely.
So, I've decided to show you a year in the life by simply reviewing a year of my digital photo albums as I write - noting that these are the events worth photographing - it goes something like this:
May 2024 - We finished shopping for sophomore semi formal dresses; you officially got your permit and started driving school lessons. You bid Alex a fond farewell as he returned to Boulder for the summer, threw a bunch of shotputs, discuses and javelins and then did an impromptu "polar plunge" before the ocean warmed up. You were inducted into the National Honor Society and celebrated and preened for photos with school friends. You found the golden light and time to relax down the shore.
June 2024 - Essex volleyball girls spend a weekend on LBI, some of them searching for their first kiss. Lifelong friendships were cemented as 16-year-old girl rites of passage were shared. You tortured Shayna with some hair bows and relaxed in our Glen Rock backyard watching musicals on the outdoor TV. You highlighted your hair - maybe for the last time - before you left for camp.
Late June-Mid August 2024 - CAMP! Since every moment is photographed (crazy Jewish parents!), I'm not sure exactly what was worth photographing, but I do know that you loved being a CIT. So. Much. I think you were happy every day at IHC and that is a really special thing. On visiting day, we arranged for you to be with your original bunk because that was our context. The rest of the summer you were with your people. More lifelong friendships cemented with the combining of bunks and smaller number of kids returning for the CIT summer. Sidenote during summertime, you came home for maybe 24 hours to try out for a new club volleyball team that is more competitive, and you made the team.
Rest of August 2024 - No sooner did you return home and sleep for hours upon hours at the beach, did you have to return to Glen Rock for the start of volleyball. Relaxation done. Back to the routine. But, oh do you love your Glen Rock volleyball girls!
September 2024 - Back to school which means two things: navigating the morning school-hating monster known as "where has my sweet Avery gone?!" and lots and lots of volleyball. Also, Auntie Dawn, Jilly and Savi came to visit when Dad and I were out of town, and I think that's when the Avery-Jilly love affair began to blossom.
October 2024 - Grandparents visiting for high holidays, more volleyball along with team dinners laughing with your teammates, your dad's birthday at Il Mulino with him being so happy to share food with you and of course extra slutty Halloween costumes and birthday party outfits where you were dressed more or less like every other girl, but somehow strikingly more beautiful.
November 2024 - Your mom goes to Israel and needs to rely on Simon Toffel for any photographic evidence of your existence, at least during volleyball games. You see your first photo of Jonah and do some sleuthing. Upon my return, we visit UCONN, the first of your college visits and you decide that it's too cold and too windy to even consider. Volleyball ends after an incredible season, you go to the volleyball banquet and cry knowing that you won't be playing with your favorite seniors again. You host a camp sleepover and go to a camp party and every girl wears the exact same outfit. You are again, the most strikingly beautiful. The grandparents and siblings and cousins come for Thanksgiving, which coincides with Marley's birthday, so we sing to her. Ben flies home from London because he knows that he is your favorite cousin.
December 2024 - We sneak down to the beach for a night to take a much-needed break. You sprain your ankle playing sports and then contain it in a tight boot to go to the city for a camp birthday party. You cry that you are not having fun and then find your people and end up having a great night. Basketball season and club volleyball season start. We celebrate both Hannukah and New Years Eve as a family.
January 2025 - We celebrate Grandpa Howie turning 80. You, Ben, Alex and Harry sneak out for some Carvel toward the end of the meal. We go shopping for a Deca suit. It is stressful and we are sweating and crying and then we find the perfect outfit. Shayna turns 7. More volleyball and basketball. You attend your Deca event, do not qualify for the next round and then find out a mistake has been made, and you actually did qualify. Jonah still in your life but goes from formal 'boyfriend' to more of a 'situationship' as you kids like to say.
February 2025 - the camera doesn't come out much as you descend into the madness of studying for SATs and playing a ton of sports and generally feeling like a stressed-out mess. The good news is that the new guy who stands outside the school parking lot on Harristown Road not only lets us in but also directs traffic, so my stress is lower, and we are all a little bit nicer in the morning.
March 2025 - Deca states in Atlantic City with an award for best presentation, but not enough to move on to the national competition. In the past, this type of rejection would have crushed you, but surprisingly you laughed it off with your Deca roommate Sophia - she also didn't make it. Basketball is legit crazy good, your team went further than ever, and your coach was named Bergen County coach of the year. You are a bench warmer and alternately frustrated/angry and accepting. You go to Atlanta with your dad and play volleyball. You try on a ton of prom dresses even though you won't be attending your junior or Jonah's senior prom. You tell me that he is definitely still your 'boyfriend', but you don't see him very often. You try on the dresses just because it's fun to dress up.
April 2025 - We get a new sofa, and you are actually accepting of change, this is unusual and is a sign of your personal growth. You go to more parties and wear more revealing going-out tops. Florida for Passover, you drive Pop's golf cart and Auntie Dawn's - soon to be your - Bronco. You get tan and the love affair between you and Jilly is raging. Savi and Shayna are jealous. You meet Bob. You are witty. You sing the four questions, and your dad thinks that you have done this effortlessly. You and I go to North and South Carolina to visit colleges. You like everything you see and meet people and it's an easy and friendly trip.
Avery, you should remember that I am writing this, I am also thinking about all that you have to accomplish in the next few weeks. You have your driver test (today on your birthday, eek!), the SAT, a bunch of AP tests and let's not forget that this is on top of your regular class schedule, your extra-curricular clubs, sports and two different after school jobs (for posterity, you are working as a lifeguard/swim instructor at Goldfish Swim School and you are picking up Benjamin from aftercare and walking home with him). It's a lot and has me in a state of functional freeze, so I can only imagine your own inner turmoil. This level of busyness goes on in every month, it's just not the stuff of photographs. You are driven and you accomplish a tremendous amount. (Also, only you seem to like to photograph yourself crying. I don't have those photos thank goodness, but I do know that there have been sad times over the past year.)
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