glenrockschwartz

Dear Avery, I've been thinking about what to write to you to commemorate your turning eleven and what I realize is that it may have been a year of growing pains, but today on your eleventh birthday you have emerged from a place of stretching and growing to a really balanced and happy place...at least for the time being.  I am sure that as you enter middle school and the true tween to teen years that there will be angst.  But for now, you are sunshine (of course, with the occasional thunderstorm thrown in). So let's discuss that growth and your success (and yes, some failures) that make you a wonderful young lady.  I wrote myself a list of what I wanted to write about: academic success, emotional growth, basketball & lacrosse & goalie, art & dance, Shayna, pink hair & braces & six (!) pairs of glasses. I could almost write nothing more than that list and you would remember exactly what the past year has been, but I believe a few insights and anecdot...

Dear Alex, Fifteen.  Let's just take a minute to let that sink in.  That's like full on whole separate existence about which your parents have no idea kind of teenager.  Maybe that is why I have been procrastinating writing to you this year, because I'm afraid I'll get it wrong and wont capture the real you for when you go back and read this years from now. So to be clear, this is fifteen as reflected through the eyes of your mom. It is not comprehensive. In any case, there are always themes, clear aspects of your being that remain a part of you for as long as I can remember, however in this last year, there are also some surprises. T his kid! This kid who has reached a point in his life where he makes it all look so easy. Who is gracious about his success, even self deprecating.  You have achieved, but refuse any compliment claiming that it’s not a big deal. But it is. And if nowhere else, I will celebrate you here.  You are a kind and empathetic  ...

Hey Alex, I have been co-planning a memorial for Matthew Steinberg.  A boy who you shared a bunk with at camp died tragically in a plane crash with his entire family just over a year ago. You weren't close with him - neither loved nor hated him - not emotionally connected in any way.  And I never even met this boy, although of course I've seen photos of him on the camp website. We are getting the whole bunk of boys together, even those who no longer go to the camp.  Some of the kids are like you Alex, seemingly unaffected, and some of the kids have suffered a great loss of friendship in losing Matthew.  Regardless of strength of relationship, I want to make this memorial meaningful for you and your friends.  Here are the two short speeches I have written and plan to deliver on Sunday. Welcome speech: Today is a day of celebration of Matthew's life.  Not much we say or do today will be sad.  However, all feelings and emotions that you have toda...

Hey kids, For posterity, I wanted to mark this time in our lives as the time when I was unemployed.  Today is the end of week two. We adopted a puppy when we got back from the beach (Shayna!) and having that sweet girl home with me while I figure out my next move has been a true sanity saver. This is the quote that I wrote for all of us today:  I am ordinary, but only because I choose to keep my extraordinary hidden; sometimes it's just easier to fit in and not have to meet an expectation that does not feel achievable. Thanks for letting me be more involved in normal in your lives right now and for dealing with my mood swings while I work on me. Love you both, Mom

Dear Avery, Two weeks ago you turned ten.  Each set of grandparents bought you a pair of really cool sneakers for your birthday.  Yesterday I bought you ANOTHER pair of sneakers.  These ones are rose gold glitter.  That brings your shoe collection for your STILL growing feet up to sixteen pairs.  Sixteen!  They are mainly sneakers - running sneakers, lacrosse cleats, basketball sneakers, platform rainbow glittery white, hand decorated converse all stars, as well as aforementioned rose gold glitter. Shoes make you happy. Love, Mom

Dear Avery, Today you are ten years old!  However you have been telling everyone for awhile that you are ten, so I wonder today if you will start telling people that you are eleven. All in The theme of the past year for you is definitely friendship and both learning how to be a good friend as well as who is a good friend to you.  This should be easy, but at 44, I still mess up some days or have my feelings hurt other days.  You are a fiercely passionate individual.  To use a poker analogy, you never just call, you are either raising or all in.  Meaning that in your friendships, a girl goes from being just someone in your class that you know to being your BEST friend who you would like to exclusively hang out with all day every day.  Then one day, you decide that girl is OUT.  And you move on to the next person.   So a couple of things to say about this: firstly, I say you are just like dad, but this all in until you are out behavior is...

Dear Avery, Recently you asked me if I have a favorite kid.  I honestly thought about it instead of giving you the standard parent answer of loving you both with all my heart (which I do!).  What I said to you after having thought about it for a while is that I love Alex because he is so much like me.  It is easy for me to proud or sad of things that he says, does, thinks, because I absolutely get his motivation.  But you sweet Avery, I love you because you are just like your daddy and he is the person that I love so much that I chose and continue to choose to spend my entire life with him every single day.  So maybe not the answer that you were looking for, but I love you both, with all my heart, just in different ways. Love Mom